Something I need
by kimmiesjoy
Summary: She wakes to a singular, profound and unusual idea that could quite easily have leaked from the consciousness of the man sleeping next to her. Set sometime beyond After The Storm.


**For Jessie. My best friend, my secret midnight lyrically flailing buddy, my brain-twin.**

* * *

" **In this world full of people, there's one loving me."**

* * *

She wakes to a singular, profound and unusual idea that could quite easily have leaked from the consciousness of the man sleeping next to her.

It's June, and every day of her suspension is flying by with some new facet of him tacked into place to mark the passage of time. Some sweet intimacy they find together and explore adding layers to the strength of their connection. So it's not that far fetched to imagine, as Castle snuffles on the pillow by her side, that some random idea he's mumbled in sleep has crept inside her brain and taken root.

She finds the urge to wake him and tell him all about it as equally overwhelming as it is impossible. For this idea to work, he must remain asleep and unaware. Therefore as much as she wants to pounce on him and engulf him with her enthusiasm, she can't.

Almost a month has passed since she came to his door plastered by rain and drenched in her own fear of having lost him, and Kate cannot believe how much things have changed while staying the same.

He's in her bed for a start, and it's a little after eight in the morning, yet the day stretches out with possibility and hope and the knowledge that at some point, very very soon, she will be _kissing_ the man whose mission in life seems to be to drive her crazy.

He still antagonizes and annoys her, only now it leads to heated debates that they both win when she growls out her frustration and pins him beneath her. Though absent the precinct, he still throws around crazy theories about life and aliens, the mob and snakes coming through the shower head, only now she's so entrenched in the _love haze_ that she tilts her head and smiles, or debates so that he thinks she agrees.

He has her as daft and reckless as she has him, as loose and loving as she's ever wanted to be. So the idea of leaving the bed, of risking him waking without her there to make him groan as she takes him in hand squeezes the life back into him, is heinous. But there is something she needs, something she's never done before, something she's never done with _him_ that tugs at her in the wrong way. He's the one person who loves her most in the world.

Why now? Why today? She has no idea. Yet being with him has taught her to open herself up to the possibility of many things and Kate finds herself smiling when she slips from the bed, stumbling into last nights hastily discarded clothes.

He's sound asleep and she hopes he remains that way long enough for her to return unmissed.

* * *

She's back twenty minutes later, small box in hand, far more awake than she has any right to be given how little sleep they get now they're sharing a bed.

He is as she left him, curled into a ball that belies the bulk of a man he truly is and she could dance in the doorway, she's that pleased. Maybe she does, a little, with a swish and sway of her hips as she approaches the bed, kicking off her shoes and pumping a fist when they hit whatever imaginary target she concocts.

Kate loses the clothes and reclaims her nakedness with a ripple of pleasure chasing away the chill before it can settle over her exposed flesh.

Climbing into his lap comes with ease now, practice, skillful manipulations of contortionist limbs that hide the depth of her flexibility. Even in sleep he seems to reach for, and steady, her descent.

He groans when she lands in his lap, eyes fluttering but refusing to part.

"Kate, s'late." He moans but he's already smiling, already up and at em and she rolls her hips excitedly, needing him to focus.

That doesn't help, never helps, but damn does it feel good.

"You mean it's early," she teases, kisses his lashes and feathering his cheeks with her own, dragging her chest slowly across his so he can feel the flesh of her nipples, the nakedness of her body pressed tight.

"That." He gripes in agreement. "S'early, why are you up?"

"Because it's a beautiful day," she kisses his cheek, "the sun is shining," the bridge of his nose and his chin, "the birds are singing."

He peeks one eye open and narrows it immediately, "And you've turned into a Disney princess?"

"And I bought you a present." She grins widely, wider still when both eyes pop apart and his suspicion is chased away by his glee.

"You did?"

"Mmhmm, nothing huge," she states quickly, before his imagination runs away with him, "something small to mark the day, sort of a promise."

She wonders if it sounds silly now she's said it out loud.

But he smiles and strokes one lone finger the length of arm, tapping at the back of her hand as it coils around the tiny white box.

"You brought me food?" He guesses and she laughs, pleased, annoyed he guessed so quickly.

The box hits the floor and the cupcake she purchased just for him, just for this, draws a moan of appreciation from his lips, one she now equates with sex as well as food.

She blushes from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes, everywhere in between a bright, vivid reminder of all they can do with each other now. All they have done.

"Celebrate with me," Kate grins, rolling into his lap with the cupcake in one hand and a fistful of his hair in the other. "Help me mark -" she swipes at the frosting and drags it across her lips, " - the occasion."

He laughs when she wiggles her eyebrows, frustrated and huffing at herself when hers refuse to dance like his.

He sits up, one hand around her waist to hold her in place so he can shove himself into a sitting position. She squeals and curses and grabs for him with her frosting covered hand.

He yelps and she laughs and somehow the cupcake remains in one piece, dangling between them when he catches her wrist and bites at the frenetic pulse hammering there.

"What -" Castle demands with another scrape of teeth, " -are we celebrating, Kate?"

Her name sounds soft on his lips and she stills, twisting the mane of her hair behind one shoulder and leaning down to kiss him.

He hums at the burst of flavor, espresso and vanilla cream, coating her tongue and colliding with his.

"Your birthday." She gets out before diving back in for another taste, kissing him soundly until her fingers are sliding stickily through his hair and Castle is a little breathless.

"Whoof-" he puffs out, and she smiles, pleased with herself until, "Kate, it's sweet, but my birthday is in A-"

"I know when your birthday is, Castle," the _idiot_ remains unspoken, her tone enough that he laughs and bobs his head but doesn't argue.

"I know I missed it this year," Kate sits back on his thighs, eyes over his face as she searches for signs he understands, "Every year really, but this one - I had a plan."

"You did?" He asks, eager now, sensing a story.

"I did, " she smiles, "we were so close to being -" she waves her hand between them, " - this, and I wanted to show you, to mark the day in a way you'd remember." Her fingers lace with his, "In a way you'd know I was still fighting for us, and then we -" she sighs, "- we weren't really _us_ for awhile."

"I'm sorry -"

Kate lifts a hand and covers his lips, wiping away his apology. It's not needed now, it never truly was. " I think it worked out just the way it was supposed to," she laughs and he grins, tugging her hand away from his lips and holding onto it tightly. "That doesn't mean I didn't have a plan. That I don't want to celebrate every birthday and _un_ birthday with you, properly, from now on."

"Okay," he smiles, laughing. With her. At her. She doesn't care as long as they're both _happy_.

"Next year, I'm going to get you _the_ best present." Kate swears, threat and surety in her tone. "Blow anything you've ever given me right outta the water."

" _You're_ the best present -"

She muffles his words with another kiss, "You're a sap."

"And you love me" he teases, but there's too much belief in it now for it to be anything other than the truth.

"That I do, Mr. Castle," she hums quietly, glad he knows, glad she can show it, finally. Glad of so many things that her words fall away and all she can do is bump her nose against his and revel in it.

After a moment he rolls them and they land side by side in the morning sun, cupcake between them.

"Happy _un_ birthday, Rick," Kate lifts the cake to his mouth waiting for him to take a bite, "here's to many more," and mashes it into his face.


End file.
